Have you ever sat there and wondered what on earth God is doing?
I mean, some things just don’t make sense.
Like long-necked giraffes and mosquitoes. At least the giraffes are cute, right?
Some days I just can’t make heads or tails of things.
Last week we got word from our friends from back when we were first having babies and living in Okinawa. Their 18 year old son died in a horrible roll over accident last weekend. His mom and brother were in the car with him, and they are fine. This young man was a freshman in college, with great hopes for his future. And now he’s gone so suddenly. We grieve with them, and just can’t seem to figure out why. Other than the fact that we know that God is sovereign and that He preordained the number of his days before there was one of them, like He has done with all the rest of us, too.
And then, my mother called this weekend. To tell me that she has breast cancer. They are going to be aggressive with her treatment. The words all ran together for me as she was sharing her medical terms and situation. It was hard to digest everything that she was saying. But I did hear that it has spread to her lymph nodes. They are doing more tests, more scans, and plan to start chemo soon.
I know cancer strikes so many people. It is an evil, wicked, curse from the fall. But, we have been mostly unscathed by cancer in our family history. And this seems to be a diagnosis that has come out of nowhere. We never saw this coming. But I suppose that nobody ever really sees it coming.
So we sit. And pray. And wait. And hope.
What else can we do? It’s at times like this that we realize how puny we are. How unable we are to ordain our days. How powerless we are in the grand scheme of things. Life and death are not in our hands. Thankfully, they are held carefully by the One who created life.
I’m thankful that the Lord has opened our eyes and hearts to His truths and His love. We are able to cling to Him because we have the assurance that He hears us and loves us. It’s not an empty grasping for something, anything. I picture Faith, in her sweet confidence running to her daddy with open arms and a pucker on her lips for his cheek. That confidence she has that he loves her and will receive her with joy and complete acceptance. That’s how we need to be with God. Honoring, yes. Respectful, yes. And completely confident of His tender care and love for us. He’s not some figment of our imagination. He isn’t some great impersonal “intelligent designer.” He is a living, personal God.
Who is sovereign over whatsoever comes to pass.
We may never understand why God is allowing things to happen as they are. We do know that trials produce perseverance; and perseverance, character; and character, hope.
Now hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us. Romans 5:3–5
And that’s just the thing. The love of God. Poured out in our hearts.
That grief, that sorrow of the trials and death and cancer. It produces hope, which doesn’t disappoint.
Sure, it’s a process. We won’t necessarily be there at the beginning of a trial. But, we can choose to cling to the promise, can’t we? We can choose to trust that the One who formed us so carefully in our mothers’ wombs will be true to His Word, as He always has been. We can hold on with those white knuckles, refusing to let go, letting the fear slip from our hands in favor of the hope that is ours. Remembering that tears are not a sign of disbelief, but rather, are an outlet that the Lord designed for our good. They are cleansing, refreshing, safe. We can cry and hope in the same breath.
I love my dear, beautiful mother. I’m not ready for her to go just yet. I don’t know that I will ever be ready. I know my friend wasn’t ready for her son to go. The thing is, we don’t know the number of our days. We don’t know that we have tomorrow. Death sneaks up on most of us. That horrible, wicked thief.
Remember to love your children, love your husband, love your mother and father. Love those whom God has put in your life. Today. I think we all need these reminders because we take too much for granted.
But, much more importantly, love God. Rest in Him. Stop striving against Him if you are. He is faithful and true. And oh, so forgiving.
We may never quite understand why God allows cancer, gave giraffes long necks, or made mosquitoes. But, I trust He has a purpose in it all. I pray that this trial will produce such a beautiful hope in our family. For my mom, my dad, my brothers, and my children. I pray that we won’t waste this one. If you think of it, please pray for us. That we will persevere in love. That I will know how to minister to my mom. She lives so far away. And that her hope will never waiver.
I’ve linked up here: Joyous Notions, Cornerstone Confessions, Simply Helping Him. Be sure to visit these sites for more blog posts that might interest you!
I’m sorry to hear your mom has cancer. You’re right — God knows, and He is in control. But that doesn’t make the journey less hard. What makes it bearable is that He promised never to leave or forsake His people. Let the beautiful truths of Psalm 23 wash over you today, Tonya. The Lord IS your Shepherd. You lack nothing.
Your mother and I have been special friends for 56 years, so I’m sure you know how sad I was to hear this news. She is in my prayers along with the family and I believe she will pull thru this. I love her like a sister. She is and always will be my bestest friend in the whole whole. We have lots of memories. My thoughts are with all of you at this time. Love, Linda