We’re not THAT old!

We’re not THAT old!

Tonight at din­ner, we were dis­cussing the fact that Mike’s birth­day is com­ing soon, and he will be 47. Faith was quick to inform him, “Daddy, you are almost the age of old peo­ple. 50.”

At least we have a cou­ple more years of youth left in us.

Photo credit: Pub­lic Places / Foter.com / CC BY

So, should I tell him?

So, should I tell him?

My hus­band trav­els a bit. Right now, he’s on the way home from the air­port after being gone a few days. I can’t wait to see him.

You know that famous quote by Mar­tin Luther?

Let the wife make the husband

glad to come home,

and let him make her

sorry to see him leave.

Does this mean that I shouldn’t tell him that the kids are all throw­ing up? And so is the dog?

Yeah. That’s what I thought, too.

I am my beloved’s…

I am my beloved’s…

Sit­ting in the park the other day, one of our friends shared with me that she loves the way my hus­band looks at me. It took me aback. I *know* how my hus­band steals looks at me, how we con­nect with our eyes, and how spe­cial it is. But, I had no idea that any­one else ever saw it. My hus­band still makes my knees weak. He gives me those but­ter­flies. I like to watch him while he is doing the things he does.

This last week, he was busy help­ing with the Fam­ily Eco­nom­ics Con­fer­ence. He did a lit­tle bit of emcee work, mod­er­ated a cou­ple of pan­els. That sort of thing. Every once in awhile, I would send him a text just to let him know that I was think­ing of him. I would watch him read the text, look up, and look for me. Our eyes would meet, and he’d give me that smile.

I love to get texts and emails from him. He sends them to me just to say he loves me, or some­thing along those lines. We flirt in our lit­tle texts and emails. It keeps things fresh and cur­rent with us. It keeps us con­nected. He has been so incred­i­bly busy over the last cou­ple of years. He has so many spin­ning plates to keep going. And so do I. It would be easy to lose each other in the midst of life. But, what would it ben­e­fit us or our chil­dren or the church, or the min­istry he works with, if we were to lose our mar­riage, the spark that we have, the joy we have?

God has truly pro­tected us and our mar­riage. I give Him all the credit and glory for it. My hus­band has strived to keep our rela­tion­ship a pri­or­ity in his life. And by doing so, my loy­alty to him, my love and affec­tion for him, and my heart for our home, has grown and flourished.

Ladies, I want to encour­age you to remind your hus­band of your affec­tions for him. Even, or rather, espe­cially, in times of dif­fi­culty and stress. It is never too late to build upon what you have. Take it up a notch. Don’t get lazy in the rela­tion­ship. Remind him of what it was about you that he fell in love with. Remem­ber why you fell in love with him. Build on that.

I have found that it can be so easy to get into a rut and just do the next thing on the list, ignor­ing the more impor­tant things that never actu­ally make it on the list. What we do may not in any way appeal to you or your hus­band. But I bet you know what will.

When my friend shared her obser­va­tions with me, her hus­band chimed in that he thinks Mike and I are such a great team, that we are so good together. I beamed inside. I know this is true. I live it daily. But, to hear that some­one else sees it, some­one I respect, my heart just about skipped a beat. May the Lord be glo­ri­fied for any good that is seen in us. It is all because of His abun­dant mercy and grace in our lives. My hus­band and I are both nat­u­rally self­ish and unlov­ing. As are most peo­ple. But, by God’s grace, we are able to love deeply. And my prayer is that our chil­dren will carry this legacy into their fam­i­lies. And that per­haps you, too, will be blessed as well. Let’s not depend on our­selves for this, but rely wholly upon the Lord, from whose hand every good gift comes.

Come fly with me…

Come fly with me…

My hus­band likes to take me fly­ing. He’s a pilot. That’s what they do. He some­times wisks me away for my birth­day or our anniver­sary. We have fun, of course. I guess that’s stat­ing the obvi­ous. Funny thing, I never flew with him until recently. He was this fighter test pilot in the Air Force, and that’s just what he did. After he retired, he started fly­ing gen­eral avi­a­tion air­craft. He would take the kids up on short lit­tle local flights, much to their delight, but I just stayed home with who­ever wasn’t fly­ing that day.

Then, one day he said he had planned a sur­prise get­away for us, and that I needed to pack an overnight suit­case. Um. Small air­plane? Are you sure you know how to do this? Did I men­tion that he had been fly­ing fighter air­craft as a test pilot? He had oodles of train­ing and expe­ri­ence. So, I packed my bag and off we went.

flying ready to go

Ready for the flight


When we drive some­where, I find that I feel like I can offer some sort of help in his dri­ving. You know, “We need to turn left in 3 miles, you might want to get over.” That sort of (non)helpful com­ment. I was in the air­plane with my hus­band and was speech­less. I had noth­ing to offer. I had no idea what he was doing with all those switches and all those radio calls. Nothing.

And at that moment, my respect for my hus­band shot up 1000%. This man was fly­ing a basi­cally sim­ple air­plane, but had 20 years of expe­ri­ence fly­ing the world’s most com­pli­cated and dif­fi­cult planes. I was in awe. I had never really had a glimpse of what he did. I mean, I’d take the kids to the run­way when they were lit­tle, and they would wave at Daddy as he taxi’d by in his F15.

Mike returning from a deployment in the F15, greeting Jack.

Mike return­ing from a deploy­ment in the F15, greet­ing Jack.

But, I didn’t grasp how well trained and capa­ble he was.

Does that sound weird? Our hus­bands go off to work and do their thing, regard­less of what it is, and then come home at night to eat din­ner and kiss the kids good­night. Right? What we don’t see is the respect other men give them at work. And the respect they give to oth­ers. We don’t see the bat­tles they fight, the drag­ons they slay. That day, I felt I had my first aha moment about what he was doing all those years. Maybe I’m slow.

But my esti­ma­tion of my hus­band was increased. And I was ashamed that it wasn’t up there all along. But, at least I finally got it.

…and let the wife see that she respects her hus­band. Eph 5:33

The tricky part is remem­ber­ing to respect and honor my hus­band in the daily grind of life. At least he tries to make it easy for me. He’s a good man that way.

The cockpit after landing

The cock­pit after landing


Is this some­thing you strug­gle with also? How do you remem­ber to respect your hus­band? How do you han­dle it when you for­get? The thing is, we aren’t mar­ried to per­fect men. The per­fect man doesn’t exist in mere mor­tal men. And, guess what? They aren’t mar­ried to per­fect wives either. Funny how that is easy to for­get as well.

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