I have been at the Family Economics Conference this past week soaking in the words and wisdom of many godly and gifted speakers. As I was listening, I was thinking, connecting dots, examining our life and the way we do things as a family.
Integrate: to bring together or incorporate (parts) into a whole; to unite or combine. from the Latin integratus to renew, restore
We are a family of homeschoolers, but more than that. We integrate our children into our daily lives. We integrate them into the worship on the Lord’s Day. They sit with us in church, they worship our Lord with us. We don’t farm them off to nurseries or children’s church. The thought of them not being right with us during the worship is hard to even comprehend, much less bear. We also integrate our children into our daily lives. They help run the home, they help keep us organized. After listening to many of the speakers, my husband has encouraged me that we really need to integrate them more into the family economy. I have to admit that I have been slow to adopt this vision for our children. I am very protective of my little business. I am “particular” about the way things need to be done. I desire excellence in it, from start to finish. I fear that it may not be as much so with the children because, well, let’s face it, I don’t see it in their bedrooms or the dishes just yet. But, is the problem totally with them, or am I to blame somehow in this? I do think I share in this more than I’d like to admit. So, when we get home, our plan is to integrate them more into the business. Pray for me please. That I will be filled with grace and patience, that I will be able to teach them effectively, and that we will take great joy in the process of learning together how to make this work.
But, why do we do all of this integration? It really is a lot of work to get there. Yes, there is much joy and grace from the Lord towards our family in doing it. We really like being together. When I consider the thought of them going off to a school, public or private, I get teary-eyed thinking of them being away from me and each other all day. I can’t stand the idea of someone else getting their best all day. But, is there more to it than that?
Then it hit me. The opposite of integration is disintegration.
Disintegrate: to separate into parts or lose intactness or solidness; break up; deteriorate; to decay; to reduce to particles, fragments, or parts; break up or destroy the cohesion of.
Um. No thanks. THAT is what we are trying to avoid. We love the cohesion of our family. We believe with all we have that it is what God desires for our family, for your family, for all families. It isn’t about control or fear or anything else negative. It is about glorifying God, raising our children in hope, teaching them about the One who created them for His glory and purposes.
We’ve seen disintegration long enough in the world. Let’s start building up, breathing life into our children, giving hope. Let’s show them a better way to live: together, in Christ, for His glory.
What areas can you re-integrate your children into your life? Surely all of us have an area that we have neglected. None of us have arrived yet, have we? Perhaps some have done a much better job at seeing this than we have. Let’s learn from them and stand on their shoulders. Let’s redeem the time together. And remember the promise from Joel 2:25, “So I will restore to you the years that the swarming locust has eaten, the crawling locust, the consuming locust, and the chewing locust…” Walk together, integrated, in hope and joy, knowing that it is never too late to reclaim your family for the Lord’s delight. Embrace these blessings that the Lord has given you. Let’s repent where we have failed due to laziness, ignorance, stiff-neckedness (is that a word?). And embrace our callings as mothers who carry much responsibility and privilege. Who’s with me?
Love this analogy and how that plays out in families. Excellent post! It was sad we didn’t have more time to really talk at the conference…I heard you have a dear family (says our children)!
Thank you Jacqueline. I wish we had had more time together also. Your children truly are a delight. I so enjoyed my time with them!
Blessings,
Tonya
Wonderful post, Tonya! Thank you! Let’s reject family disintegration! I love it!
I’m with you! Great observation. One of the things we took away from the week was making sure our children are really making the vision their own. I think the vision helps translate the “tasks” into something bigger and gives the impetus to achieve things in more excellent ways.
Andrea, those are really good things to remember! They have to own the vision to truly embrace it. Thanks for your comment. We can just trudge along dragging them behind us, or we can walk beside each other, encouraging one another as we labor together for the glory of God.
Blessings,
Tonya
We learned about “integrating” early on and have some fabulous mentors who always emphasized incorporating our children into what we do. We recently planted a church and our children were blessed to see it unfold and be with us every step of the way. Also, this summer I am incorporating my daughters into helping me out w/my online endeavors once again. It is such a blessing to have them available and learning along side with me!
Excellent!
Tonya, such a good word! As a family which has always integrated our children into all aspects of life and business (dairy farm), we attest to the tremendous benefit of having done so. Working together has enabled us to forge strong relationships, to tie heartstrings, and has given our children a great sense of satisfaction in being important economic assets, in contributing to the family’s wealth, wealth they also reap the benefit from.
I just read your post to Bethany (22) and Blessing (13) and Bethany said something which I think many of us as mom’s can readily identify with. While not directly business related, what she’s said applies equally to our business ventures I think.
Bethany said that it’s often difficult for us to step aside, perhaps even take on some of the more mundane tasks again, tasks we’ve passed onto the younger ones, and allow them to assume the responsibility for greater things, those things we might enjoy or prefer and not want to give up. For Bethany, it’s meal planning, cooking, and baking. She loves to do those things, but after reading your post and considering what you’ve said regarding your business, she feels she really ought to give the younger girls more opportunity to hone their skills in the kitchen, rather than relegating them to just peeling potatoes, etc., for her. I think she’s right. I think very often, either because of preference or due to time constraints, we moms possibly don’t give our children the opportunity to develop more complex skills.
That said, the principle found in Luke 16:10 is applicable in the running of the home as well as in business, “He that is faithful in that which is least is faithful also in much.”. So our children must also be taught the basics and must prove themselves capable of assuming those tasks/roles of more importance.
Anyhoo, just wanted to share a few thoughts and commend your wise words. Loved how you phrased it all, your honesty, your humility. You’re such a blessing!
Thank you so much for your words, Debbie. I’m so glad you were blessed by this post. And thank you for sharing Bethany’s thoughts. She has a really good point about stepping aside and letting the youngers do the more preferable jobs. It is easy to give them the “Cindarella” jobs, isn’t it? And enjoy the more noble of the chores for ourselves. It’s easy to rationalize that we are better at it, etc., but we only are because we have had to learn to be. They can learn also! Thanks for furthering the thoughts from the post. Much to consider and implement!
Blessings,
Tonya
Thank you so much, ladies, for your comments. I am so thankful that this post has encouraged you. I’m so glad you have stopped by!
Blessings,
Tonya
I recently visited a church that had a children’s program that went all the way up through the 5th grade. Which meant there were no children in the worship service under middle school age…I looked around and it just felt so odd not to see children. Once you’ve made the transition to integrated worship it’s hard to see anything else.
This was so good! We were at the conference as well and loved it so much! Love your thoughts here! Amen!