Mike and I were talking the other night as we drove home from somewhere with the kids. We were talking about joy, and how we feel so blessed that we see that joy abounding in our home with our children. We tried to figure out what it is that brings that joy to such a level that we feel it most of the time in our home. It’s not like we have a rule that we have to be joyful or anything. We just feel it within ourselves, and we see it in our kids.
I mean, we know that Christ is the center of it all. We know that our joy comes from Him alone. We get that. But, we know other Christians who love the Lord and have a faithful walk who seem to struggle in this area. We all have struggles, to be sure. But the joy seems like it should be central. We have been saved from death (in the eternal sense of the word)! That’s no small thing. How is it that we get bogged down by the insignificant daily events of life enough for it to steal joy from us? I suppose they daily events don’t seem insignificant at the time. Flooding bathrooms (I should tell you that story sometime…), layoffs, cancer, disobedient children seem pretty insurmountable when you’re living in that moment. But, when we look at the big picture, perhaps we can step back and look at Christ, at His amazing gift to us in His perfect sacrifice on the cross to pay the penalty for our sins…then just maybe we can look past our fears and pains and headaches and see joy.
One of the things that came out in our conversation is the concept of contentment. I suggested that maybe people are not content with their lot in life. Mothers who stay home with their children to school them have signed up for a very difficult and often thankless task. We joke that I don’t get “employee of the month” or a special parking spot. I don’t get raises or bonuses or any other accolades to put on my resume. I get dirty dishes, piles of laundry, squabbling siblings, and no-notice dinner guests.
But I LOVE what I do. The Lord has been merciful to open my eyes to the blessing that it is to be able to do what I do. I don’t always do it well. I have days that are real challenges to me. I’ve sure you’ve heard the adage that the dirty dishes mean that you’ve had food to eat, the piles of laundry mean you have ample clothing to wear, the squabbling siblings mean that the Lord has seen fit to give you blessed children, and dinner guests mean that you get to show the love of Christ to a stranger (and that you have a home to welcome them into). So, what do we do with that understanding?
I remember years ago when we had babies, I used to mentally keep score over who changed more diapers than the other. I actually said things like, “I changed 5 diapers in a row. It is *your* turn.” Or, when my husband came home from his very demanding job, I would hand him the baby and say that I was tired and tag, you’re it! I shudder at that today! What was I thinking? Who would want to come home to that? {He still came home faithfully everyday and jumped right in to relieve me, in spite of my thankless attitude.} I was not content in my role as wife and mother. Don’t get me wrong. I loved being a wife and mother. But, I wanted the storybook edition, not the real life, get your hands dirty edition. When Emma was a baby, I decided that I was going to be the diaper changer. Small thing, really, but to me at the time, it was pretty huge. From then on, I just took her and changed her. You know what? I ended up loving that time with her. It became a very special time of bonding with her. I had joy in that task which I had kept score on for 4 babies prior to her. I wish I had known this before I had my first child. I was missing the gift! And the joy. I’m so thankful that the Lord opened my eyes.
Thankfulness leads to contentment, which I believe leads to joy. When we struggle in this area, we ought to look around and remember that God doesn’t have to give us anything. Christ Himself most likely had way less materially when He walked the earth than most of us have. Yet, we think we need more: More time, more children, more help around the house, more clothes, more something. We need to look around us at what God has given to us and count our blessings. Have you noticed how many storage units are out there? People have so much junk that they have to pay a monthly fee to house it all somewhere other than their house. The junk doesn’t bring contentment. It doesn’t feed the joy. It feeds more coveting and greed. It’s bondage.
I had the blessed privilege to chat with a friend today. We were discussing the feeling of losing our joy. She is going through some pretty hard things, and she needed a friend to talk and pray with her. I gently reminded her that God is not unaware of her heart’s desire for her future, her struggles of today, and her heartaches. God is sovereign over her today and over her tomorrow. He is uniquely preparing her for her future. The things she is battling today are for her sanctification, to make her ready for what lies ahead. To teach contentment, to help her remember that joy is from God alone. It’s one aspect of the fruit of the Spirit. And I reminded her that she is loved. Not only by me, her family, and her church, but mostly by God. And so it is with all of us. We will be sifted, put through the Refiner’s fire, and sanctified. Those are not easy processes. They hurt. They bring heartache for a time. But they produce beauty. The dross is skimmed out. We are left more purified, able to love more, serve more, radiate joy more.
We ought not be afraid of the trials that come to us. We need to walk in faith, not by sight. We can embrace what God has for us because He is perfect, loving, and all wise. He holds us in His gentle hand, those who call upon His name for salvation. Run to Him. Hold onto Him. He doesn’t judge you based on what you can do for Him. It isn’t about that. He judges us based on what His Son already did. We *do*because we love, not because we want to be loved. There is a huge difference in that. We can’t earn that love.
If you are reading this, and you have lost your joy, turn to Christ. I want to encourage you to count your blessings, name them one by one, thank God for them (sounds oddly familiar…are you humming along?). Be content in whatever state you are in. Pray that the Lord will restore your joy. Are you burdened by the very demanding job of raising children? Tackle today. Don’t concern yourself with tomorrow or next week. Just do today the best you can. Light some sweet smelling candles, play some beautiful or fun music, smile at your children. And do today. Kiss your husband goodbye if he leaves for work, and greet him with another when he returns. Be thankful for this man you have covenanted with, even though he most likely isn’t perfect. And mostly, pray that the Lord will get you through today with joy.
If you are reading this and you don’t know Christ, but are looking for joy and contentment and peace. I’d like to introduce you to the One who created all things, including you. He is the only place you will find peace, joy, contentment. For eternity.
Jesus said to him, “I am the way, the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through Me. John 14:6
Feel free to email me or even leave a comment if you are struggling with any of this. I don’t believe anyone can force Christianity on anyone. It’s a work of the Holy Spirit. But, I am happy to discuss it with you, to show you where to find hope. As they say, “I’m a beggar showing another beggar where to find bread.”
I have a friend who is fighting a horrible cancer. The prognosis doesn’t look good. It grieves me so incredibly to watch her, mostly via Facebook, going through her battle. But the thing that is so overwhelming to me is seeing how her faith has grown to such an incredible level. Her trust, her faith, her love for the Lord overflows in her words. We are praying for healing, daily, not knowing what the Lord is going to do with her life. But, we have complete confidence that her life is in His ever capable hands. He is walking with her in her valley. He is bolstering her faith. She is teaching so many important lessons to her children about faith and hope and trust. Mostly she’s teaching them about the faithfulness of Jesus.
Let us therefore come boldly to the throne of grace, that we may obtain mercy and find grace to help in time of need. Hebrews 4:16
He is giving her mercy and grace in her time of need. I love this verse. We often wonder how we could go through a trial that someone else is going through so well. “I could never go through that! She is such a great example! She has such strength!” Yes. Perhaps. But, we don’t need that strength and that particular faith today to go through her trial. We receive that mercy in our time of need. But, we get our faith bolstered by watching the Lord work in the lives of those who are having grace rained down on them. He is real, living, compassionate, loving. And He is personal.
May your day be filled with joy today. May you be content wherever it is that God has you in this season of your life. Let’s all learn to take the gift of today and be thankful. We have no promises of tomorrow.
Blessings to you!
Beautiful post. Count it all joy!
Thanks so much, Janet! I so appreciate your encouragement. May God be glorified in all things!
Blessings,
Tonya
Tonya, I love that you pointed us to thankfulness. Another thing that has changed my life (I struggled with lack of joy for years) was focusing on God’s attributes and praising Him. The book “31 Days of Praise” by Warren & Ruth Meyers is a useful tool and helped me significantly.
Hi Trish,
Thanks for your recommendation. I haven’t heard of or read that book. I’ll have to look for it. Thankfulness is so key in our walk with the Lord. And, wow, when we think of God’s attributes, how can we not but praise Him? Incredible for our minds to comprehend all that He is!
Blessings,
Tonya
You are right Tonya! Our home feels very much like yours. Joy is central here and I
do think it is because we are content and grateful most all the time. Our family has
experienced great pain in the past and I think that has been a springboard to gratitude
and contentment. We enjoy the “magic of ordinary days” in our home. — Kelly
Kelly,
What a beautiful testimony to what God has done in your lives. Such a sweet thing to read about the joy in your home. God is such a merciful and gracious God!
Sweet blessings,
Tonya